Today after having developed a daily gratitude practice can confirm this is just another woo woo fantasy bullshit via /r/gratitude

So after reading the secret many many years ago I'm going to say nearly 10 years ago there are not many things I took from it but I did however strongly bring the gratitude section from it with me, don't ask me why maybe cause it seems the easiest like it's not hard to give thanks for the things we have in life so I started and I would say everyday over them past few years since reading it I have said thank you many times throughout my day just for the small things, I would go into a gratitude bubble in my meditations and list out everything I'm grateful to have, Main things I'm thankful for everyday is my family friends and a roof over my head and that I have enough money to buy food. Everyday without fail I have given thanks for at least one of these things and mostly more as I meditate nearly every day too and the first way I start my meditation is by thanking God for the opportunity. Now what do they say ,"oh be greateful and the universe will give you more to be greatful for, "use gratitude and you will never be without your essentials in life". Today I also can confirm that after having this practice for this many years daily I have now lost everything I have due to rather unforseen circumstances I dont have a penny to my name and I today will be doing my first day as a homeless person. And unforseen my suicide ideation has the idea of throwing myself of a bridge a very likely outcome. So not only did gratitude not give me more to be greatful for but it seems with this practice I have managed to lose the majority of the things I'm greatful for. How does this work I tell you why because people on the internet fill you with this shit that the universe or god is always listening to us and listening to our desires and it's simply put not true. Today I have come to the hardest realization that none of it is real all that I've read about manifestation, higher self , purpose etc. None of it exists and we're simply living in a random bunch of atoms that goes into nothing when it's over. I'm sorry to be a negative Nancy but I've wasted years of my life trying to be greatful through the toughest of times, I used my last $2.5c to buy a cup of tea today and I couldn't believe I found myself saying thank you because I was able to get a cup of tea something I always gave thanks for because not everyone can but this will be the last one I'm allowed, guess I wasn't greatful enough ey..I'm just posting this so hopefully someone will read it and not waste there time with this woo woo stuff hoping that it can make there life better or at least keep the small things in there life. I've lost everything and it's going to lead to me taking my own life. So that's my gratitude story guys be careful with all of this toxic positivity as you could end up like me. REAL TALKS