Roof over my head via /r/gratitude

All throughout my life I've had to be what was expected of me on order to ensure I had a home. I first came to this realization when I was 15. The first time my mom kicked me out of her house. She found weed in my room and flipped out. I knew it was wrong and I shouldn't have had it, so I probably had it coming. She had her boyfriend drive me 9 hours away and drop me off at a hotel and said have a nice life. A month later I found out I was pregnant. I spent 6 months homeless before moving back in with my mom. I had the baby while living there. My baby wasn't a year old before my mom and I had a disagreement again and she decided to kick me out again. So I packed my bags and moved out. I learned that if I rock the boat that I'm expendable. I learned this early. So I understand now why I spent the next 25 years people pleasing in order to keep being loveable. I was taught that if you don't do what your told and be what everyone wants you to be that you're gonna be pushed out on your own. This was reinforced 25 years later when I was kicked out of where I lived again. I was the one that messed up I accept that. But he would beg me back and I would go, but the second that I didn't want to do what he wanted me to do it was out the door I went. I learned to keep a go bag and have it packed at all times so that I wouldn't have to scramble for my basic stuff in the midst of the fight. All of this taught me that I wasn't worth a damn unless I never said "no". Anyway – That stopped the moment I met my husband. I was homeless again and he took me in. I spent the next 3 years being the most difficult person in his life. I wasn't ready to be loved again. I wasn't ready to love anyone again. I had given up on life and just wanted to waste away. I was deep into my addictions and saw no way out. But this beautiful man didn't give up on me. No matter how hard I fought. No matter how difficult I was. No matter what. I tried everything to get him to hate me and expected him to just kick me out like everyone else. He refused. His love is what made me decide to turn my life around and get clean. He made me want to be a better person, not just a person that wouldn't rock the boat. Not just a people pleaser. He helped me realize that I'm worth the fight. And that is the only reason I'm alive today. I wake up grateful for him and his love everyday. I strive to be a better person than I was yesterday everyday. I'm finally able to find out who I am under all of this trauma. I'm no victim. I'm a survivor. A survivor of my own mistakes, of my mom's mistakes, of my ex's mistakes. I survived my own prison and I'm finally somewhere that I know is my home. I'm grateful that I have a roof over my head that's always gonna be there. I can't wait to see what I can do to show my hubby how much I love him today.